Blogger Widgets Struggling Parents: Awkward position

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Awkward position

I find myself in an awkward position that I am sure that at one time or another one of you have felt the way I am feeling. I always thought of my children respect me, but until yesterday I realized how selfish and how critical I have made them to be. I have never had my feeling hurt so much as yesterday from my 2 youngest daughters all out of greed and being selfish. I won't go into it in detail and I won't be online as much I was because my computer is at my daughters apartment. I am hurt and I just wanted to let someone know the way I am feeling.

Just think about it this way;
you've worked hard earning a living for them in their younger years and when they become adults their most concern is getting where they want to be, even if its getting your mother out of the way. They use you for everything you got and turn around and think you owe them. I would think that if my sister needed a place to stay that I would say "stay here". but instead not only does she kick her mother out, she kicks her sister (by the way use to be best friends when they were kids) out of her apartment. I guess I should say is that in some time in our lives, "do we become selfish and greedy?". or did I raise my kids to be the way they are?

My youngest turns 18 and she has her whole life ahead of her. I am ...with no income, homeless, and unable to help her, which at one time I helped them for 17 yrs or so, and now I feel helpless. My aide of 500 a month stops (I will no longer receive any money) and my choice is to either help her get a place or save it for myself (as I mentioned, greedy and selfish) I have no one to depend on...I have never been a selfish person or rude, although I have been critical at times but not towards my children (at least I don't recall)...

yesterday ..both my youngest daughters bashed me at my appearance, my lifestyle and my medication i am taking...I felt like crying and I did once I laid my head down upon my pillow. Everything my kids told me that they wouldn't do, like abandoned me or be rude, disrespectful, critical or all of the above, it happened to me yesterday...so crying does nothing but make things worst, puffy eyes, running nose and red face...I am force into a position to completely stay out of my kids lives...would you do that to your mother?




My other blog;
1. Across this bridge
2. Marketing myself
3. Struggling parents
4. When life become a book
5. Read Between the Lines
6. Internet Lifestyle
7. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery




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2 comments:

Paula said...

Hi sweet mama,

Do not take it personally. Many of us wannabe women are just down right STUPID, selfish and RUDE at that age. I regret somethings I did to my mom at that age.

Most importantly just take care of yourself and give yourself a hug. You have give so much of yourself sometimes it is hard to grant yourself pardon.

I recommend just finding a place to get away and relax..and then eventually you all will mend the hurts. Family stays together. They are just YOUNG and may I say STUPID.

I have a 20 month old...and have just started having that feeling of, "I give everything for you and thats how you treat me". So I know it must just intensive like crazy as they grow.

Hugs to you mama.

Irene said...

I am so sorry you are facing this hard time. Sending you many cyber hugs!! Stay strong!