Blogger Widgets Struggling Parents

Monday, October 29, 2007

My Daily Journal;

Last night was an incredible night that I spent with my Boyfriend, I would say that it was the best Love making moment of my life, but it keeps getting better and better. I slept like a baby but I noticed that he slept restless most of the night, moving around in the bed a lot.

Yesterday morning I had breakfast with my Mom, Dad, and my twin sister which she was the one who drove me to the restaurant. Me and my sis were dressed in Halloween costumes from the night before party we went to. But the morning was a mess, I had taken too many pills and all most overdosed (well I actually did, not intentionally, but maybe subconsciously). I started getting blurred vision and I started shaking to the point that everyone else noticed. I don't remember to much except that my Dad guided me out to the car to go to my daughters Apt. I didn't mean to scare anyone one and everyone made a big deal out of it, it wasn't the first time and now everyone wants to control my pill intake.

They say they'd miss me if I had died, but how would they really know if I didn't even die. I know my kids would all blame everything on themselves but why? when I am the addict with the problem and the problem occurred/ started even before they were even born. Is that crazy? I'm talking as if I had already died or going to. But believe it or not the moment scared the hell out of me, so that makes me more cautions...and life goes on to the next day which is today...

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